i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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