you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
