I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
