When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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