it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
