So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
