you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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