if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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