3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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