so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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