I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
