omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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