we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize