new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
