I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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