Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
