Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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