Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
