I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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