she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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