i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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