too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My life is pants optional.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
