My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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