you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
