Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
