It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize