Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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