Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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