Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
