can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
