He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
