we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize