found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
