she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
