6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
