This house was built for laser tag.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
