just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
