how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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