no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
