Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i love accidental penises.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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