thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
