Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
