im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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