what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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