I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize