He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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