Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize