You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
