Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
