I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
this will be a night to untag.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
