hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
