Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
