At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
