Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
