Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
