I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
