I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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