i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
