It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
