YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
