I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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