Since when is my name a synonym for head?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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