I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize