then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
