I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
