I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
