alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I want a musical about memes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize