It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
