I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
