i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
