I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
