How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
